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Post by CK Malicious on Nov 20, 2008 3:51:59 GMT -5
OK guys time for lesson 1. we will be having Jackel post a promo and we will go through it.
Looking at what can be improved in areas of: Spelling, Layout and Grammer.
That will be the main Basis of Lesson 1.
Thanks
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Post by jackel on Nov 20, 2008 10:46:58 GMT -5
Jackel sits in the chair and stares at Riley Taylor the teacher then looks at the assistant Kim and looks at her straight in the eyes. He looks back at Riley and talks
"So, what kind of sports do you like? I, of course, like wrestling. At first, I liked Racing but not anymore. Well I was called here to learn.......... so teacher......... it's time to teach."
Jackel leans back in his chair and waits for the Riley and Kim to start
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Post by AJ Riles on Nov 22, 2008 14:33:41 GMT -5
"Dude, what is with those gigantic pauses? You a robot or somethin'?" Riley demands. Kim sighs and rubs her temples.
"What he means is that if you pause for too long, it will sound awkward for the listener, which could potentially cause problems to arise. It may not, really, but better safe than sorry, eh?" Kim explains.
"...But, to answer your question, I like wrestling, too. And airsoft. And forklift racing. And wrestling..."
Grammatically speaking, the use of three "full stops" is the generally accepted way to "express a pause in speech, incomplete thought, or trailing off into silence".
For the curious, ellipses can be denoted by "three periods ("...", ". . .", "[...]"), asterisks ("***"), or dashes ("---")."
Ultimately, you only need three for an ellipsis, no more.
Continuing on (and I couldn't hit this portion in-character, unfortunately), when using a phrase to describe someone in the same sentence, such as...
...Then commas are to be used at the beginning and end of the description, like so...
The same would go for the other way, though to denote WHO is being described as opposed to HOW. Confused? Allow me to demonstrate.
Commas also denote standard pauses in speech, short than those used for an ellipsis.
Additionally, when referring to people by name, unless their name includes it, "the" is incorrect.
Racing, being an improper noun (at least, in this instance), does not need to be capitalized.
Then, there's your basic end-of-sentence periods, and I think the layout of the promo was fine... How 'bout you, CK?
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Post by jackel on Nov 23, 2008 19:03:05 GMT -5
Jackel then tilts his head to the side and speaks
"What about me and CK? We are friends, and I say we had a great match for my debut but, other than that, I have no problems with him. What business is it to you?"
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Post by CK Malicious on Nov 27, 2008 23:33:13 GMT -5
Yeah, apart from the obvious............ Pauses.............. It's fine.
And on a side note Mr Riles... I did not know it was called an ellipsis. Good work sir.
So Jackel, I say write another promo, lets see if you can include what you have learnt from lesson 1.
Lets try make this one a little longer than a couple of lines.
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