Post by Spazz on May 30, 2008 2:42:00 GMT -5
Singles Match: Darius Kalypso vs Spike Norton
Darius must hate men from Texas that wear sunglasses...cause Darius seemed to hate Spike. Like...hate bad cause it showed in this match. Spike fought on with all his body could muster, but the Texan-hating monster kept coming and coming. After the [Insert long finisher name here], Darius pinned for the 3
Winner: Darius Kalypso
Tag Team: The Boyz Malicious (CK & JC) vs Warren Peace and Catastrophe
This match sucked. Sucked not because of who was in the match, but how it ended. A freaking countout!! Two minutes in. Jeez.
Winners: NOBODY (Countouts suck)
Hardcore: Chaser vs Freaky
Freaky truly showed why he is known as a hardcore legend, controlling pretty much the whole match, even doing some fancy tricks with a chair. After grinding Chaser's face into a barb wired 2x4, Freaky pinned.
Winner: Freaky
Triple Threat: Osiris vs Mikey Malicious vs Red Norton
Good god this match was long. Like not as bad as Brandon Dubainve vs Lowko submission match long, but still pretty long. Like an hour or something. It mostly came from Mikey's insistence on switching targets! He'd lay Red out, could easily have it won, then goes outside the ring to fight Osiris. By the end of the match, all three had red bodies and heads and all bleeding. Finally, Mikey hits Red with the knee gutbuster thing and pins him.
Winner: Mikey Malicious
Singles Match Brandon Dubaine vs "Slim" Jim Norris
"Attention passengers, all flights on May 29th of 2008 are now canceled." Because these two were grounded, not a single high-flying moved was pulled out till the end. They all sustained equal damage but Jim looked like he was on the way to victory, until Brandon pulled a reversal out of his ass and sent Jim into the turnbuckle, where he laid him on the ground and climbed the turnbuckle. "All flights, cleared for take off." Brandon flies with the Superfly pin and hits Jim for the pin.
Winner: Brandon Dubaine
Tag Match: Lunatic Fringe vs Lino & Mark Rejda
Basically, Lino growled and the Fringe backed away and whimpered. This was a beatdown and a half. Lino pinned poor Evan after he and Rejda double stomped him in the corner.
Winners: Lino & Mark Rejda
3 Stages of Hell: LowKo vs Jaysun Legend
Don't feel like typing this up so here's how it went down:
15-Minute Ironman:
LowKo: 1
Legend: 0
Winner: LowKo
Last Man Standing
Winner: LowKo
Winner of the match: LowKo
Main Event: Yugo Ryan vs Deathblade
DEATHBLADE SMASH!!!! ........Not quite. Yugo coated himself with butter apparently cause DB couldn't keep hold of him for any extended period of time, letting Yugo ware the big man out. He ends the match with the trademark "Forearm hatchet to groin attack"
Winner: Yugo Ryan
Darius must hate men from Texas that wear sunglasses...cause Darius seemed to hate Spike. Like...hate bad cause it showed in this match. Spike fought on with all his body could muster, but the Texan-hating monster kept coming and coming. After the [Insert long finisher name here], Darius pinned for the 3
Winner: Darius Kalypso
Tag Team: The Boyz Malicious (CK & JC) vs Warren Peace and Catastrophe
This match sucked. Sucked not because of who was in the match, but how it ended. A freaking countout!! Two minutes in. Jeez.
Winners: NOBODY (Countouts suck)
Hardcore: Chaser vs Freaky
Freaky truly showed why he is known as a hardcore legend, controlling pretty much the whole match, even doing some fancy tricks with a chair. After grinding Chaser's face into a barb wired 2x4, Freaky pinned.
Winner: Freaky
Triple Threat: Osiris vs Mikey Malicious vs Red Norton
Good god this match was long. Like not as bad as Brandon Dubainve vs Lowko submission match long, but still pretty long. Like an hour or something. It mostly came from Mikey's insistence on switching targets! He'd lay Red out, could easily have it won, then goes outside the ring to fight Osiris. By the end of the match, all three had red bodies and heads and all bleeding. Finally, Mikey hits Red with the knee gutbuster thing and pins him.
Winner: Mikey Malicious
Singles Match Brandon Dubaine vs "Slim" Jim Norris
"Attention passengers, all flights on May 29th of 2008 are now canceled." Because these two were grounded, not a single high-flying moved was pulled out till the end. They all sustained equal damage but Jim looked like he was on the way to victory, until Brandon pulled a reversal out of his ass and sent Jim into the turnbuckle, where he laid him on the ground and climbed the turnbuckle. "All flights, cleared for take off." Brandon flies with the Superfly pin and hits Jim for the pin.
Winner: Brandon Dubaine
Tag Match: Lunatic Fringe vs Lino & Mark Rejda
Basically, Lino growled and the Fringe backed away and whimpered. This was a beatdown and a half. Lino pinned poor Evan after he and Rejda double stomped him in the corner.
Winners: Lino & Mark Rejda
3 Stages of Hell: LowKo vs Jaysun Legend
Don't feel like typing this up so here's how it went down:
15-Minute Ironman:
LowKo: 1
Legend: 0
Winner: LowKo
Last Man Standing
Winner: LowKo
Winner of the match: LowKo
Main Event: Yugo Ryan vs Deathblade
DEATHBLADE SMASH!!!! ........Not quite. Yugo coated himself with butter apparently cause DB couldn't keep hold of him for any extended period of time, letting Yugo ware the big man out. He ends the match with the trademark "Forearm hatchet to groin attack"
Winner: Yugo Ryan
